After a little while of ministering to a lady called Marie, she said she found it difficult to relate to Jesus as men had hurt her badly.
After a while, I asked her how old she was when this happened. She said 5yrs old. When she said this I had and the idea that she had been sexually abused.
Later in the ministry, she told me that she had been raped at 5yrs old by two different men.
A thought instantly came to me that Jesus hadn’t come to earth as a man but as a vulnerable baby. I had used this ‘tool on the shelf’ in the past but didn’t know how the Holy Spirit would want to use it this time.
I asked Marie if she would like to go and visit Jesus as a 5yr old in the stable when he was a tiny baby. She nodded. After a little while, her face crumpled with tears as she met baby Jesus. Afterward, she said it was a beautiful experience. Marie said she wasn’t afraid of him.
This sort of healing always undoes me as I experience the huge love Jesus feels for the broken.
Next I said, “See yourself as a child (see by faith) ...it doesn’t matter what age you are and meet Jesus when he was bigger …when he was a child”. She picked an age and met him again having a wonderful experience. Then I asked Marie to see herself as a teenager and meet the teenage Jesus.
This time I asked what did she see? She said she was sitting with Jesus on a wall and they were swinging their legs as you do with friends. She said he felt like her special friend.
After this, I asked Marie what age did she next want to meet Jesus. (I hadn’t done this before as I sometimes I stop and say would you like to now meet Jesus as an adult.) Marie said that she wanted to meet Him when she was in her 20”s.
This she did and looked softer in her face and engaged with Him.
It didn’t feel right to stop so I asked Marie what age did she want to be now.
She said her 30’s. Again she had a wonderful time with Jesus.
I wondered how long we would continue with this but I still felt there was another time she needed to do this.
When I next asked Marie what age she would like to be she said 47. I asked why this specific age? She replied while crying “That’s the age I knew I would never have children. I always wanted to get married and have a child. I knew then that it would never happen”.
At this point, I strongly felt that Marie needed to do 2 things in a particular order. I encouraged Marie to ask Jesus to take her to meet with her Heavenly Father. I asked her if she had met Him before. She said yes a long time ago.
This time when she was in His presence I encouraged her to be very small leven though she was an adult and sit on Father Gods’ lap. To be abandoned like a cat would be lying in the sunshine. She looked so peaceful but vulnerable.
After a while, she opened her eyes. So much had happened in a short time and I was feeling very moved by the kindness and tenderness of Jesus for her.
Next, I said to Marie ….” You need to put your wedding dress on because Jesus your Bridegroom is standing at the cross waiting for you.”
My goodness, the wonder of this moment filled Marie as she wept but she also looked incredible as she went to meet the lover of her soul at the cross.
This was such an exquisite healing moment.
I asked Jesus to cleanse Marie with His purity as He made her His bride.
When she eventually opened her eyes she looked so beautiful.
I have told you the short version of this time of healing as I obviously didn’t rush through this but was prompted each time by the Lord when to proceed not knowing what was going to happen next.
The next day as I was walking up the aisle at the conference a lady grabbed my hand and said: “Hello Jeannie I am Marie ……” As I looked into her face I didn’t recognise her….she looked radiant. Nothing like the expressionless woman I had seen the day before.
I said to Marie..”Jesus has made a start on this healing journey. You can always go back into those times He spent with you. Each time ask Him for more, to take you on in your healing. Take a bit at a time, don’t be in a rush. Let him heal you and make you more whole.
Sometimes healing like this will stay with me for a few days as I savour the beauty of what Jesus does. The sin of those two men towards that little girl was disgusting, cruel and brutal. In a very short time, Jesus had bought something, beautiful, precious, kind, tender and sacred.
Beauty in the midst of Brokenness.